mother oh dear

My mom used to be supportive wen I was in high school then wen I graduated dad had started understand me as well n mom just stopped right there like she doesn't exist. Me n dad were still walkin the walk n mom just left us n started pouring her attention to a bitch who is an underdog n a biatch stranding us to death.
Mom used to tell me wen I was a kid that if u appreciate someone then they would get proud n wouldn't do the thing good , therefore she never appreciated anyone n even I received same treatment with no exception as her daughter which made me feel like I lack things never thought I was fit cuz mom said I wasn't even after I was and I lost confidence felt like a failure like I am unfit to receive good things.
- am so used to it if I get something easily I feel like something is wrong wen I get it with all my hardwork I feel I deserve it.
My mother knows how important is appreciation but still she doesn't she just can't say good things except cursing us in literal sense.
At times its important to appericate it can make someone better at what they are doin n it can mean a lottttt to them. Showing gratitude is also very important which my mother never does .